Deattached

Since having Gastric Bypass surgery in May '09 I have been feeling something I can not quite explain. Well, yeh, I feel the obvious things anyone would expect,healthy,lighter, happy etc...
I do not want to say I am depressed because I am not. Recently, a friend from the PTA, descrivbed me as "deattached." That is it. That is exactly how I feel. I find myself not trusting people. I doubt the motives of everyone. I feel like any questions or comments on my appearance are an attack, or at the very least an intrusion, on my person. I find myself trying to only associate with people I have known forever. Thanks to facebook this is easy. However, most of these people aren't any closer to me then the people I see everyday yet I find them easier to trust.

I have lost 125 pounds and with that any interest to participate in the school things I always have but rather I prefer the gym or cooking. I find I have even less tolerance for any crap. I do not have time to hear people talk about each other or complain. Yet, I am a complainer.

Soon I will start babysitting my friends daughter. It will be a nice distraction from my own personal attempt to get pregnant. While we were once successful that success ended in a 5 week miscarriage fail. Now I am stuck taking daily temperatures and using the fertility monitor. What a drag this process is. It would be a much nice process if the guesswork was out and every just got pregnant in an instant or by mistake!

I am taking my first SPIN class tonight, if I do not chicken out of it. I am very nervous. I'm thinking it may be too hard and could cause me a heart attack. damn Gym, why couldn't they offer more classes.

I am currently waiting to hear from Kat's modelling agency to see if she is still on hold for Benetton. I hope so. She really wants this job. I really want it for her.